It is easy accepting the fact that one has a low libido. And living with it is even more difficult. The guilt of disappointing one’s partner or the tedium of having sex just as a chore can be quite overwhelming.
But this does not mean that the process cannot be made easier. It can be a fairly long journey bring back the spark the bedroom once it has fizzled out and it thus needs patience. If one tries to rush these things, it is bound to bring only frustration and resentment.
Dealing with a low libido needs a good deal of communication with one’s partner. Only then can issues with intimacy be effectively solved.
Do not panic
It is completely normal to have changes in libido over time. Sometimes it is just a phase that may be related to certain factors in one’s life. Once these mitigating factors are removed, the problem may just resolve itself.
But stressing out about it is not going to help at all. In fact stress further reduces sex drive and the issue just may aggravate. One need not feel like less of a man for having a dip in libido from time to time. It is a normal and expected phenomenon and should be dealt with as such.
Stop the blame
Blame is not something that can be attributed in this situation. Some individuals may feel constantly guilty about not having satisfied one’s partner. This further deepens the libido loss and makes the situation even worse.
Blaming one’s partner is never the correct approach, for multitudes of reasons. One’s partner may have nothing to do with and accusations will only sour one’s relationship further. If the other party is indeed responsible in any way, understanding and support is the way to go, not malice and abandonment.
Communicate with your partner
Dealing with a diminished sex drive all by oneself can be very difficult. And the phenomenon may be just as hard for one’s partner. It is essential to communicate about such issues with one’s significant other.
Communication may lead to the revelation of elements that may have played a part in the cause of the problem. And reassurance from one’s partner can be something that makes all the difference in resolving the issue.
It is very important to introspect and try to see when the loss of libido began. Was it during the time when a stressful project was assigned at work, or maybe when the neighbors brought a new musical instrument that plays loudly every night, or may be when relatives came over to stay for some time. There is usually some trigger that sets the wheels in motion.
It is also advisable to think about the time when one had a healthy libido, and try to evaluate what has changed. Having put on weight or having acquired a medical condition can markedly decrease one’s libido. Hence it is crucial to pinpoint these problems.
Have a through medical check-up done
If one is not able to locate the problem by the above mentioned methods, it is just might be the right time to have a medical check-up done. And it is essential to have all possible parameters checked from hormone levels to other common disease conditions expected at one’s age. This should make things clearer, but it may not necessarily provide all possible answers. Cardiovascular disorder are very common even among younger men and hence should be examined thoroughly.
Conditions such as prostate cancer, testicular cancer, benign prostatic hyperplasia, etc. can all lead to a diminished libido. It is essential to rule out all of these when one goes for a work up.
It is not always possible to resolve issues between two individuals without external aid. And knowing when to ask for help is the key. These sessions may really prove productive. It is also important to consult a sex therapist, for other counsellors may not have the expertise to deal with issues of sex and intimacy.
And it is imperative that both partners take therapy, jointly and individually as needed. Unless one takes steps towards solving a problem, it is not going to get solved.
Have realistic expectations about libido
A normal libido is a very subjective term. It is not the frequency of sex that is important, but the quality of it. If one happens to hear a colleague or a friend say that they have sex four times a week, that is not something that one should consider a benchmark. If both partners are content and satisfied with a much lesser frequency of intercourse, it is perfectly fine.
Eat good food
A nutritious diet only has benefits, and erratic eating habits are known to be one of the causes for a reduced libido. Reducing on fast food and having as many home cooked meals as possible can help a lot for maintaining good health. A healthy body and mind can translate to a more fulfilled sex life.
Moderate amounts of exercise are known to improve libido as well as the production of sex hormones. And getting back to a better shape boosts one’s self confidence, reducing body image issues. Making healthy lifestyle changes can be the difference between success and failure when one is trying to boost one’s libido.
Coping with a decreasing sex drive requires efforts from all fronts, physical as well as physiological. The key is not get disheartened and know that every problem has a solution.